Chaaang Chaaang a chukka chang chang. Now keep doing that for 42 minutes and you've pretty much reproduced this. There - I just saved you a fiver. Please send £1 to my PayPal account for my pain and suffering.
There's nothing specifically wrong with it I suppose. I just don't get why I could not die without hearing this. It's so ordinary. When it does veer from the not-even-particularly-well-executed machine pop it's to baleful, stinky cheese wank like Melody for an Unknown Girl. It's a sweet enough tune but surely if Acker Bilk wasn't willing to play guest clarinet on it then maybe that's a sign.
I have no idea if Acker Bilk was even approached by the way but it's something to talk about while this unimaginative dross is spiraling down the plughole of my attention span.
How dull is it?
It's so dull I got up and tidied the living room while it was on just so my hands would be too busy to poke myself in the eye repeatedly.
It's so dull I pumice stoned my feet and counted the flakes of skin that came off (93).
It's so dull you could use it to cure addiction. Simply give the addict as much alcohol, cigarettes, drugs or biscuits as they want and play this album while they consume their chosen poison. They'll be so bored by the end they won't want to partake of it ever again. Of course, they would then need to be treated for narcolepsy.
Point made? I think so.
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